No need for Wellness Coaches in Bali

We learn so much from travel. From stepping out of our culture and being part of another one, even if temporarily. This is why we are drawn to travelling to different countries. We often come home with a slightly new slant on our lives. I am at the end of my second trip to Bali in as many years and last year was moved to write a blog on the way the traffic worked! Here I am again, struck by the uniqueness of the system in this crowded little centre surrounding the major tourist spots, but this time I see that the traffic becomes a symbol of something bigger than that and this is part of why I love this place and its people.

I’ve noticed that there are some unwritten rules in Bali as far as traffic is concerned. The aim of everyone on the road is one thing only – “to keep the traffic moving”. Now at home the main aim is usually “to get there first and in front of as many people as possible”. And this promotes road rage and high stress levels and does nothing for relationships. We use our traffic situation as a way of expressing any pent up anger we have about our lives in general but it also is a way of expressing our strong cultural values about success, about winning, about beating others. It’s not like that here. When you have families travelling on one bike (I mean, parent, three kids and the dog), people around are not interested in racing round them. There is a respect for others that is refreshing amidst the pollution, dirt and heat. When the lights change, traffic from two directions merges into one lane, which in Australia would cause chaos and numerous accidents. Not here. One day we observed a rather wild looking young man riding a bike all over the road with a video camera on his helmet. He looked at us, recognizing fellow Aussies and yelled, “this is insaaaannnnee!” whilst weaving in and out and putting people around him at risk. The funny thing was that he was the one who looked insane. The locals carried on in their organized way, with the silent unspoken hum of “keep the traffic moving”. I love it.

I also love the way the people accept things for what they are. We were served by so many delightful smiling faces who not only wanted to get to know us, but wanted us to “come back and stay here”, as if the big resort they were working in was their home. They are sad about the loss of the rice paddies, the simplicity and frequency of their ceremonies which has been eroded by the growth of tourism in certain areas, yet they still serve and showing affection for the people who are responsible – the tourists. Yes, we know that we pay the bills and bring a better (?) quality of life to many, but does that really qualify for that extra pat on the arm or hand holding by a lowly paid masseuse on the beach? I think not. You see they really do love people and seem to approach life with a natural positivity that assumes people are to be liked unless they prove otherwise.

So many of our problems in western society come from our fears of a) not being seen to be as good as everyone else and b) not being loved enough. A very simple view but I think with some truth. If we could take away those two fears imagine how much easier our lives would be. How could it affect our stress levels, our relationship with food and alcohol, our judgment of ourselves and others and consequently our lifestyle behaviours? I’d be out of a job that’s for sure. I don’t think I would get work in Bali but boy I’d like to spend more time here because it’s good for the soul.

Knowing what we do and why we do it

I've really had the concept of "awareness" put in front of me in recent weeks and it has got me thinking about the role it plays in our behaviour. The popular technique of encouraging clients to record what they are eating, doing, or even thinking is very valuable in both personal training, weight loss, wellness coaching and self help models. After all, if we don't know what we're doing, how can we go about making the changes we wish to make? I have often questioned whether becoming aware is enough to move us forward but generally agree that it is the first step. I really enjoy working with people on the next step which is working out why we do, think, (or eat) certain things! Coaching can unlock some pretty significant realisations about our patterns and the payback we get for making certain choices. But we do need that first step and time can get in the way of our recording each and every thought and action in our day.



A TOOL TO MAKE THIS EASIER?

I have recently had the interesting experiences of being exposed to a tool that caught my interest among the many products that cross my desk and I decided that I would trial a sensor armband that apparently could pick up how much exercise or even movement I was performing in the course of a day! It would record how may calories I was burning based on skin temperature and even what length and quality of sleep I was getting. Now that interests me. LIke many people, I spend a lot of time doing what I am doing now - using a computer - being sedentary, whereas in a former life I might have been moving around a Health Club, making sure that things were running smoothly and talking to people. A lot more incidental activity. Although I am a regular and at times, vigorous exerciser, I was intrigued to find out what went on during the rest of the day. And what would be the difference between say running a workshop on my feet, and a day in the office? Was I really sleeping for all those hours I lay in bed.



FACING THE TRUTH

Then there was the really confronting part. I had to log my food if I wanted to get a totally accurate measure of whether I was in calorie deficit or excess. Now that was more difficult. It took not only effort and organisation on my part but strangely enough, some real willpower to actually record those occasional high fat, high sugar impulses, or that extra glass of wine. There I was - my own client and I started to understand that awareness can sometimes be a little more difficult than we'd imagine!



THE REASONS BEHIND IT ALL

As I reluctantly entered my erratic eating habits which I had previously believed to be well balanced and on the whole, pretty good, I really was facing the realisation of why I was eating that way. No one had to ask me "why"? I knew that it was often lack of planning, tiredness and poor prioritisation. Bingo. Enter the wellness coach who could help me create a better routine in my head, if not my body! There was relief in knowing that we do have a role to play in supporting our clients in their desire to change. The exercise has given me a greater understanding of just how valuable the initial part of creating awareness is in the success of any change plan. Knowing what we are doing has to be the first vital step before we ponder on why we do it and how we are going to make the first change. And then, before we begin, take time out to work out what will motivate us to stay true to our commitment. How will our life change for the better if we make these changes? This experience was a real reminder for me not to assume that we know ourselves and our behaviour as well as we think we do!

(The sensor armband is not yet available in Australia but will be in coming months. See my earlier blog or email for contact details.)

Big Brother on my arm

I am temporarily (permanently) attached to a device that sits on the back of my arm and is attempting to measure my metabolism – as in desired information being calories consumed (recorded by me and testing my honesty) and calories expanded, measured by the device! Bodymedia fit make this device called a sensor armband. I am trialling this device as I see value in the information for coaches or trainers who are helping people make lifestyle changes. This is being a very interesting experience for me on many counts:

1. It is making me become very aware of what I consume, how I consume it and what influences my choices.
2. It has added yet another task to my day on the computer which I resist madly.
3. I am now really thinking about how much movement is in my life, intentional or planned.

So what have I learnt so far?

• I’m pretty active, especially since my work involves a lot of (as noted) computer work!
• I can’t sit still for very long – will find an excuse to move from my office.
• I often eat without thinking and my choices get worse when not planned ahead.
• Which then makes me realize that I am often “reactive” – to hunger, fatique, convenience, whereas I would prefer to be responsive to my brain and my body at least in choosing what I eat.
• I sleep more than I thought - despite waking several times a night I still average about 7 hours. Yay. I love sleep and am not very good without it.

If I can learn from this device, imagine what people who really do want to lose weight can learn from their movement, eating and sleep patterns! To me it seems like a very useful tool in the change process. Step number one - First establish what you do!

More later in the week when I tell you how it responds to my rather varied exercise pattern and my thoughts on whether knowing the “what” is enough to prompt action.

The Rider and the Elephant - a model for change

How many times do we start a new project or make a resolution to change our daily routine to include some healthier habits and very soon relapse back to the old way of doing things? The trouble is that nearly all of our behaviours (about 90%) is made up of habits. And changing habits takes hard work. When we coach people around improving their 'wellness' we break it down into parts of a workable model that has been shown to be effective. We need a vision, we need to identify obstacles, it helps to recognise what strengths we can bring to the process and of course we need a plan. This is easy to understand but I am always excited when I read of new ways of explaining this to people - when I find a more colourful analogy that might just capture people's interest who have grown discouraged by multiple failed attempts to 'make change stick'.

Ted and Dan Heath, in their book 'Switch' do just this. They have broken down the change process into simple concepts that are easy to picture in our minds, which in turn makes it easy to apply them. They talk about the process of change being likened to a 'Rider and a Elephant' and how the rider who sits on top of the mighty beast is akin to our cognitive reasoning, or mental decision to make a change. We know it's the right thing to do. We understand the benefit of adopting these new lifestyle behaviours. Our rider thinks he is in charge. However, he is really trying to control a mighty beast, the elephant, which is representative of our will or emotions. The rider sits on top making decisions about where to go and attempts to steer elephant below, but he has limited control due to the size of the animal. Unless the elephant is also committed to going in a certain direction, he will blunder forcefully ahead on another path and the rider is simply carried along, despite knowing where he would like to go.

This great analogy supports an important principle of coaching - we need to engage the head and the heart - the rider and the elephant. If we think of the rider being the director of our will-power - our strength to be disciplined, and our ability to resist the easy option, we can then see that his strength is limited. If the rider is constantly fighting the elephant, he will soon tire. Unless we have our elephant on side, who will help carry us along the desired path? In short, we need to engage our emotions in the change process. This applies to someone wanting to lose weight or to get fitter in exactly the same way as it would to adopting a new organisational policy (or a corporate health program). Unless the rider is directed and the elephant engaged, the change won't stick.

So when we are planning our strategy for change, if there are obstacles to overcome or difficulty in effecting the change, we need to ensure that emotions are heavily involved. In the wellness coaching model, we talk about needing to have a 'heart felt reason to change'. Same concept.

We can take this further. Once the rider has decided which path to take and the elephant is on side, we can make their journey easier by shaping the path ahead - by removing big obstacles that could get in the way and making environmental change that helps progress. Take the high fat food out of the fridge. Make the forms easier to complete! There are few change processes where this wouldn't apply.

If we layer coaching on top of this model, we provide another missing ingredient. Confidence. In the last issue you would have read about the importance of consistency. The step by step approach. This allows people to achieve small successes which in turn promote confidence. A good coach can help increase a client's confidence. Without a confident rider our elephant just blunders in the wrong direction! So in summary:

• It's the elephant not the rider who is in charge with his six tonnes of weight
• Self-control (or willpower) that the rider is responsible for, is a limited resource so should be conserved. If we use it in one situation it may not be available in another
• It is always smarter to plan in advance and shape the environment to make the elephant's path smoother
• We need to find the feeling, not the intellectual reason for change - something that makes us care
• Instead of raising the bar, we should put it on the ground to make achieving small steps to success easier

We can learn a lot from what has been written on the subject of motivation. We just need to apply it to our world. There's nothing new about what it takes to make change stick, we just need to increase our understanding of what influences our success.

Worrying - a useful process or a much-maligned habit?

What is worrying all about?
The very word 'worry' makes many of us worried. We know we have the tendency to do too much of it and we have a guilty assumption that is a waste of time, at best, and a destructive, confidence-killing habit at best.

What is worry?
Worrying is what we do when we turn things over in our minds and explore different outcomes to situations - we usually fixate on the negative outcome rather than the positive outcome - otherwise it would no longer be worrying. We then imagine what else (bad) could happen if that negative outcome were to occur. It's a way of exploring and anticipating what could go wrong and in a way can help us mentally prepare for the worst! The words, 'but what if...?' are frequently in Worry Time.

The main reason for worrying receiving such bad press is the belief that it doesn't change a situation and only stops us sleeping or doing something more productive with our lives.

But can worrying be productive?
If you revisit the statement above that contains the word 'explore', we start to see worry in a different light. Imagine if we were never to worry and managed to block all slightly distressing thoughts from our minds. When unfavourable events happened (as they do form time to time) we would be ill-prepared to deal with them. So perhaps we need to refine our worry so that it becomes something of value to us. Perhaps a lesson in worrying constructively might be of use?

Sports psychologist Dr. David Krauss believes that daily practice in worrying is advisable. He encourages his top athletes to worry 'on their terms' rather than being the victim of anxiety. In his book, 'Mastering the Inner Game' he suggests setting time aside each day to worry. Do the job, tick the box and get on with the rest of your day.

So how do we worry constructively?
First, identify the main issue or issues that are causing concern. Sometimes we think we are worrying about one thing but it hides something bigger. If we can identify the value underneath the area of worry, it will help us focus on what the emotions it's producing - usually anxiety - and we can give it our full attention. So let's say we worry about not meeting a deadline. The real fear behind this could be the realization that our motivation to complete the task is not that strong, which could mean that we don't enjoy our job. And if we face up to that fact, it might then necessitate some greater, scarier decisions.

Worry is associated with anxiety. By recognising anxiety and sitting with it for a while, we avoid blocking the fear with worry. Worry is generic, dull feeling and hard to put aside.

Tools we can use:
When we have identified the real fear we cna then test its validity. For example;

• I am afraid I am going to lose my job?
• What will happen if I lose my job?
• What would that open up for me? What would I need to do?
• Is there anything I can do now to either a) prevent losing my job or b) prepare myself for the next action required if I do?

Worry sometimes goes hand in hand with indecision and procrastination

If you find yourself in that uncomfortable place, try coming up with the age-old list of pros and cons. In coaching we call it a Decisional Balance as it provides a list that highlights the negatives and positives of taking a certain action. When they are written down, they are often easier to evaluate and assess. And guess what? When they're on paper, they are usually not scurrying around our head in a scrambled (worrying) fashion. This is a great way of problem solving but worrying is a bit different. We often worry about things that we have no control over at all. That is a waste of time unless it produces actions that we can take that will improve the situation.

In our daily worry time we can aim to have an action plan that concentrates on things we can do that will reduce the anxiety. So change your thinking. Instead of worrying about how much you are worrying, make your worry work for you!