I attended the Happiness conference in Brisban a few months ago, and had the privilege of again listening to some outstanding speakers talk on a topic that is very close to my heart! Why wouldn’t it be? After all, isn’t this the aim of everyone alive - to be “happy”? Defining what happiness means is the hard part . The positive psychology movement is really only about 11 years old so it is relatively a very young idea and it is interesting to have witnessed slight changes in focus in the time I have been interested in this area. For example, Dr Martin Seligman, the man responsible for founding the movement has himself changed his approach and in his new book “Flourishing” he explains that the very word “happiness” has become almost diluted, if not polluted by its somewhat trite association with - “being in a cheerful mood”. We can sense (and also hear) Seligman’s distaste for the very popular smiley face symbol and he is at pains to remove his work from that concept. Instead, he now defines happiness as being a “construct” made up of five areas
PERMA
P - positive emotions
E - engagement
R -positive relationships
M - meaning
A - achievement
The latter is interesting because for the first time, he is accepting and acknowledging that people are often driven by the simple need to “achieve” and for some this can be “winning” Although it doesn’t seem like a very noble desire, it is a fact and Seligman, above all else, is all about reality!
Back to the conference. Now, Seligman may have his revered ideas of what happiness is all about but, as individuals, we also have the right to have a thought of two about what we are striving for. Working in the field of health and wellness, I have had a bit of a “thing” since the first year I attended the “Well-being summit” in Washington that not once was the word “health” or “exercise” mentioned! For me, happiness or “well-being isn’t really possible without including a degree of vigorous movement in my life. Simply for the sake of it! Imagination my gratification when not one, but three speakers referred directly to the concept of physical health as being an essential part of happiness. I could have hugged Tony Grant when he said, “if you’re sitting on the couch drinking coke and.... “ it’s pretty hard to be truly “well”. So finally my worlds come together. We use the principles of positive psychology in wellness coaching constantly and it was great to see what we strive for acknowledged. To me, striving for optimal mental well-being won’t cut it. I want to strive for optimal physical well-being too. A guest at The Golden Door recently caught me off guard when she pointed out that if you have a physical illness it’s hard to be truly well. It made me think about my answer carefully but I still hold that even with illness we can strive to adopt habits that adhere to healthy living. And perhaps in cases such as illness, acceptance will bring mental well-being.
So to sum up my reflections on the Happiness Conference - never have I seen so many empathic, tolerant and accepting people in one place - after all the Dalai Lama was a keynote speaker. But we must all find our own recipe for “well-being”. For me, I can sum up the top three. I will not be truly happy unless I have Laughter, Love and Exercise. But that’s just me! And perhaps they are a reflection of my values rather than a recipe for optimal well-being. Or perhaps they are a means to an end! Whatever it is for you, work it out and go and get it.
