Communicating in other cultures

When you work in the field of communication and travel overseas where you don’t speak the language, it can be quite confronting to face the fact that what you know about communicating in our own culture doesn’t work any more and you have to begin to find a “system” that will send (and receive) appropriate messages. Actually, let me rephrase that – it’s not essential to make a change, but if you want to make your time there enjoyable and be seen as the person you are and have interactions that are fun, effective and rewarding, then change you must. 10 days in Bali put me to the test. I kept thinking in French which wasn’t a lot of use and my Indonesian amounted to one word – terimakasih, or thank you. Not a bad start. In fact that one word in any country goes a long way to gaining you acceptance, or a least toleration! And if you combine it with a head bob, hands in prayer and big smile, you are way ahead of the rest of the tourist gang. Why? Not because of your exceptional talent for language, but because you made the effort to fit in in a place where you are the alien.

The first day as a passenger on a motorbike was another lesson in cultural specific communication. Riding vespas in Sydney gave us no advantage or warning of what was to come. Narrow, crowded roads with open drains on the side, full of scores of bike riders carrying unimaginable loads weaving their way past trucks, buses, cars, taxis, pedestrians and rabid looking dogs where NO RULES APPLIED was my first impression. How do you safely pass a man on a bike carrying a ladder with his head through the rungs, or a couple on a 125cc scooter with two surf boards and two Labrador-sized dogs? Answer, with care and courtesy. It took me a while to realise that the only rule that applied was to accept that there were no rules other than one – everyone had to make that traffic flow and the only way to do that was to allow movement where it could happen. To do this (and to avoid your own death or injury or that of other people) took one big shift towards thinking of other people instead of focusing on ourselves.. Yes, there it was demonstrated in the most hectic place on earth – unselfishness and cooperation at its best. I am sure there is more learning to come from this experience but the immediate one was that I saw no road rage, not even an unnecessarily beeping horn. No one became impatient. When the only route to get past was to ride on the pavement, instead of trying to cut that audacious person off and make them pay for getting there sooner, the general feeling was, “what a good idea” and to follow. Again, the notion of smiling and thanking worked wonders. There is something in that system that could teach many governments many lessons. And being part of that system allowed us to brave the busiest streets (complete with 10 foot surf board in the end) knowing that we were as safe as were in Sydney, if not safer! The Balinese have worked out that for their traffic system to work, they have to make it work themselves. How incredibly refreshing.

Constant harassment by people wanting to sell something became the next challenge, until we applied the same principles, Say a clear “No thank you” with a big smile and you got a smile back and usually no more chasing. We saw many tourists respond rudely with anger or impatience and saw the reaction of the hawkers. A bad feeling all around. At times, their persistence made me curious to see what would follow (or perhaps I just really wanted what they were selling) and I started to realise that these people had some of the most important principles of sales down pat. Create a relationship (get a name, find out where they’re from and how many kids they have). Create trust and empathy (share information of your own to relate to them, usually around the area of children as there was little else to go on). Appeal to emotion (new at the job, had a quiet day, worked for 12 hours – okay often guilt but it works. Close the sale and try and upsell – “how many you want?” How could we resist buying three when the price came down so much? I loved it.

There were lessons to be learnt in communication everywhere. The humility and grace of the people who served us, their ability to meet the sharpest comment or complaint with a smile, their love of getting to know more about their tourists and to please them (to the point where the menus included more western items than Idonesian) and their natural ability to create relationship was like balm to my soul. It just took a few days to recognise it. I am now home driving my car and my bike defensively and finding it much more stressful and tiring. I notice how rushed people are and how lacking in service skills we’ve become. Get me back to Bali.