Worrying - a useful process or a much-maligned habit?

What is worrying all about?
The very word 'worry' makes many of us worried. We know we have the tendency to do too much of it and we have a guilty assumption that is a waste of time, at best, and a destructive, confidence-killing habit at best.

What is worry?
Worrying is what we do when we turn things over in our minds and explore different outcomes to situations - we usually fixate on the negative outcome rather than the positive outcome - otherwise it would no longer be worrying. We then imagine what else (bad) could happen if that negative outcome were to occur. It's a way of exploring and anticipating what could go wrong and in a way can help us mentally prepare for the worst! The words, 'but what if...?' are frequently in Worry Time.

The main reason for worrying receiving such bad press is the belief that it doesn't change a situation and only stops us sleeping or doing something more productive with our lives.

But can worrying be productive?
If you revisit the statement above that contains the word 'explore', we start to see worry in a different light. Imagine if we were never to worry and managed to block all slightly distressing thoughts from our minds. When unfavourable events happened (as they do form time to time) we would be ill-prepared to deal with them. So perhaps we need to refine our worry so that it becomes something of value to us. Perhaps a lesson in worrying constructively might be of use?

Sports psychologist Dr. David Krauss believes that daily practice in worrying is advisable. He encourages his top athletes to worry 'on their terms' rather than being the victim of anxiety. In his book, 'Mastering the Inner Game' he suggests setting time aside each day to worry. Do the job, tick the box and get on with the rest of your day.

So how do we worry constructively?
First, identify the main issue or issues that are causing concern. Sometimes we think we are worrying about one thing but it hides something bigger. If we can identify the value underneath the area of worry, it will help us focus on what the emotions it's producing - usually anxiety - and we can give it our full attention. So let's say we worry about not meeting a deadline. The real fear behind this could be the realization that our motivation to complete the task is not that strong, which could mean that we don't enjoy our job. And if we face up to that fact, it might then necessitate some greater, scarier decisions.

Worry is associated with anxiety. By recognising anxiety and sitting with it for a while, we avoid blocking the fear with worry. Worry is generic, dull feeling and hard to put aside.

Tools we can use:
When we have identified the real fear we cna then test its validity. For example;

• I am afraid I am going to lose my job?
• What will happen if I lose my job?
• What would that open up for me? What would I need to do?
• Is there anything I can do now to either a) prevent losing my job or b) prepare myself for the next action required if I do?

Worry sometimes goes hand in hand with indecision and procrastination

If you find yourself in that uncomfortable place, try coming up with the age-old list of pros and cons. In coaching we call it a Decisional Balance as it provides a list that highlights the negatives and positives of taking a certain action. When they are written down, they are often easier to evaluate and assess. And guess what? When they're on paper, they are usually not scurrying around our head in a scrambled (worrying) fashion. This is a great way of problem solving but worrying is a bit different. We often worry about things that we have no control over at all. That is a waste of time unless it produces actions that we can take that will improve the situation.

In our daily worry time we can aim to have an action plan that concentrates on things we can do that will reduce the anxiety. So change your thinking. Instead of worrying about how much you are worrying, make your worry work for you!

A new take on what drives us

We read a lot of books and information these days - there is so much out there that it's hard not to collapse under a pile of facts, research and interesting commentary! But now and again, we read something that really makes us think.

The interest in 'motivation' has been constant but the real research started 40-50 years ago. Of course who wouldn't want to know, 'Why do people do what they do?'. With Wellness Coaching Australia, I work in the corporate sector and also in the fitness industry and the question of what motivates people is of paramount importance but for slightly different reasons. In the corporate world, more effectively and with greater satisfaction? In the health and fitness industries we want to know how we can help people find their motivation to change behaviours that are not working for them and adopt new behaviours that might work better?

Daniel Pink, in his latest book 'Drive' suggests that there are really only three things that motivate us (once our most basic needs for food, safety and shelter are met). These are:

1. Autonomy - the desire to direct our own lives
2. Mastery - the desire to continually improve at some thing that matters, and
3. Purpose - the desire to do things in service of something larger than ourselves

He also suggests that the traditional approach of the corporate world to use monetary incentives as a way of getting people to work harder can actually be detrimental to their performance. Not only will it not inspire people to strive for bigger goals, but it can destroy their enjoyment of the task and result in poorer performance!

In the health and fitness industry, are we right in assuming that the desire to look and feel better are the main motivators for people to make change in their habits? Perhaps not.

The interesting part of coaching is that we dig deeper to find the more complex and significant reasons why people want to change or move forward. When someone loses weight for example, and we ask what this was like for them, we will quickly hear comments such as 'life changing', 'I feel I have control over my life for the first time', 'I have a new purpose in my days and am about to change my career'. Losing weight can be transformational in more ways than a reflection in the mirror. Good coaches will help their clients tap into these possibilities, before they begin, to help create the motivation to stick to a plan.

And in the corporate world, with work becoming so much more creative and conceptual and the rise of the not-for-profit organizations, we really need to re-think the role that financial rewards play in undermining employees 'inner drive' to work because they enjoy it. There are better ways of encouraging your team to succeed.

This is not a new concept but Pink speaks out against the traditional view and advises his readers to go on a journey of discovery and throw out the 'carrot and stick' method of encouragement. This supports everything that the coaching model stands for which is about helping people take control of their lives, to strive for something that is important to them and to understand why it is important to them. Whether you are in the corporate world with a team of people who you lead to perform, or you are a trainer or club owner with the responsibility of delivering change programs that work you cannot afford to stick to an approach that is outdated but instead need to learn how to uncover people's inner motivation. The smarter operators are already re-thinking their system of 'encouragement'.