Worrying - a useful process or a much-maligned habit?

What is worrying all about?
The very word 'worry' makes many of us worried. We know we have the tendency to do too much of it and we have a guilty assumption that is a waste of time, at best, and a destructive, confidence-killing habit at best.

What is worry?
Worrying is what we do when we turn things over in our minds and explore different outcomes to situations - we usually fixate on the negative outcome rather than the positive outcome - otherwise it would no longer be worrying. We then imagine what else (bad) could happen if that negative outcome were to occur. It's a way of exploring and anticipating what could go wrong and in a way can help us mentally prepare for the worst! The words, 'but what if...?' are frequently in Worry Time.

The main reason for worrying receiving such bad press is the belief that it doesn't change a situation and only stops us sleeping or doing something more productive with our lives.

But can worrying be productive?
If you revisit the statement above that contains the word 'explore', we start to see worry in a different light. Imagine if we were never to worry and managed to block all slightly distressing thoughts from our minds. When unfavourable events happened (as they do form time to time) we would be ill-prepared to deal with them. So perhaps we need to refine our worry so that it becomes something of value to us. Perhaps a lesson in worrying constructively might be of use?

Sports psychologist Dr. David Krauss believes that daily practice in worrying is advisable. He encourages his top athletes to worry 'on their terms' rather than being the victim of anxiety. In his book, 'Mastering the Inner Game' he suggests setting time aside each day to worry. Do the job, tick the box and get on with the rest of your day.

So how do we worry constructively?
First, identify the main issue or issues that are causing concern. Sometimes we think we are worrying about one thing but it hides something bigger. If we can identify the value underneath the area of worry, it will help us focus on what the emotions it's producing - usually anxiety - and we can give it our full attention. So let's say we worry about not meeting a deadline. The real fear behind this could be the realization that our motivation to complete the task is not that strong, which could mean that we don't enjoy our job. And if we face up to that fact, it might then necessitate some greater, scarier decisions.

Worry is associated with anxiety. By recognising anxiety and sitting with it for a while, we avoid blocking the fear with worry. Worry is generic, dull feeling and hard to put aside.

Tools we can use:
When we have identified the real fear we cna then test its validity. For example;

• I am afraid I am going to lose my job?
• What will happen if I lose my job?
• What would that open up for me? What would I need to do?
• Is there anything I can do now to either a) prevent losing my job or b) prepare myself for the next action required if I do?

Worry sometimes goes hand in hand with indecision and procrastination

If you find yourself in that uncomfortable place, try coming up with the age-old list of pros and cons. In coaching we call it a Decisional Balance as it provides a list that highlights the negatives and positives of taking a certain action. When they are written down, they are often easier to evaluate and assess. And guess what? When they're on paper, they are usually not scurrying around our head in a scrambled (worrying) fashion. This is a great way of problem solving but worrying is a bit different. We often worry about things that we have no control over at all. That is a waste of time unless it produces actions that we can take that will improve the situation.

In our daily worry time we can aim to have an action plan that concentrates on things we can do that will reduce the anxiety. So change your thinking. Instead of worrying about how much you are worrying, make your worry work for you!